Can i stop my daughter's abusive father's access until it has been settled in court?

You should get a lawyer and get him/her to stop visitation until the hearing due to his behavior. You will need some kind of proof of what he does. It may not stand up in court if you don't. Your daughter is too young to speak for herself until at least 8 or so. I would just ask your lawyer to ask for an emergency hearing to stop visitation until the hearing. If you have no doentation on paper signed by a judge that he has actual visitation, then no, you do not ever let her go with him. She is yours until court, and the judge says she has to go with him. You need to speak to your lawyer about all of this. He should be able to advise you of all of this. If you have a woman or man lawyer with kids they will fight harder for you, especially a woman. Google custody lawyers in your town and see what you get and who has won a lot.