Help! Does this poem make sense to you?

Seems to be about taking things for granted, though it's not entirely clear what. I could go with the two girls interpretation, but if that's exactly what you're going for it's not completely clear. I'd suggest you try not to inverse your language (lines like "both the rainbows he could not keep" instead of "he could not keep both the rainbows"). It makes the poem sound archaic and it's harder to read that way. Also, I didn't totally understand the lines "Much too young to know the chase/ That flower he could not hold." Just doesn't make sense in the narrative. Same thing for "Grand master of the art of bold." Hope that helped. Really interesting project... I like what you're trying to do here. Good luck!